Shane

Y10 ENGLISH TERM 1 2012 Explanation writing requires tight organisation, technical language (jargon), and good detail. Shane has produced one good piece and one still a work in progress. . //How to take care of your health// is organised into paragraphs, with good detail : it uses accurate terminology and provides a range of useful alternatives. Awarded 1 Taonga. //How a sport works// is organised into paragraphs. The introduction is interesting because it distinguishes between non-contact and contact sports, uses technical language, and provides detail. However, the closing paragraph needed quite some re-organisation and still lacks cohesion. Shane has the ability to think through paragraphs more carefully. //A Stead (teacher)// A magazine study is challenging, as it requires a methodical approach to complete the set tasks. The emphasis is on structure - the different components (how a magazine works), and how the power-point presentation is put together (showing examples). Shane's uses good visual images but the wrap-around text is too hard to make out against the multi-coloured background. There is no table of contents. Paragraph organisation remains a problem and is a focus for Term 2. //A Stead (teacher)//